Confessions of a TV-Addicted Mom

Okay, I'm not exactly TV-addicted. I am not like my friends who post on Facebook about their plans to watch Lost or 24 or Grey's Anatomy or whatever. Truth is, I used to be, but these days I can't recall the last time I watched something that wasn't the Weather Channel. I am rarely awake much past 8 pm anyway, and if I am up that late I am most certainly not sacrificing precious seconds of sleep to watch some sitcom.

Here's what I am addicted to: my daughter being addicted to TV. She doesn't go to school, and my husband and I both work from home during the day. In addition to work, I also write, blog, lead/co-lead two parent support groups, and am working on my M.Ed. We do have an amazing babysitter, but she only comes a few hours a week. That leaves the rest of the time where we need to squeeze in a lot of work in small pockets of time, which are often procured by flipping on the tube to keep Bess quiet for a little while.

Most days, I do a good job of just using to fill a couple of hours - an hour in the morning so I can get up and showered and dressed, get breakfast made and check my email, and an hour at night so I can get dinner made and get my people washed and put away for the night. Some days, the hour in the morning morphs into two (or three...) as I get involved in something and lose track of the time. On rare occasions, like this week when she was nursing a nasty cold, I let her veg in front of the TV all day, if she wants.

I justify this to myself by saying that it could be worse - at least I try to keep it to PBS and Noggin (and an occasional DVD), and at least she is home with me doing somewhat stimulating things most of the time. That, and she rarely sits in front of the TV staring blankly - she usually uses stories and characters as jump-off points for pretend play, and is constantly coming in and asking me to help her put on a cape/dress/crown/hat/whatever so she can act out whatever plot she's interested in at the moment.

I realize, however, that there are many downsides to this nasty habit. I recognize how she often seems overstimulated and unable to concentrate (more so than normal) after too much TV. I also am aware that actual pretend play would be preferable to pretend play that is actually an imitation of something she saw on-screen. I don't like the attachment she has formed to some licensed characters (though the ones she likes aren't the worst ones around - there I go, justifying myself again!). I am acutely aware that no matter how carefully I screen the shows she watches, they are likely to contain lessons that I would prefer she not learn. Last - and FAR from least - it is nearly impossible to allow Bess to watch TV while keeping her nine-month-old brother away from it.

So, what's a mother to do? The research I've been doing on the topic for my thesis (ILP) is only serving to increase my neuroticism and indecision. I know plenty of people who are happily TV-free and others who use TV in moderation, though not too many who have the 24/7 TV that I recall from my own youth. I guess there are pros and cons on either side. In the end, I have an "All Things in Moderation" attitude about it. I try to watch with her sometimes and talk about what's going on, and I hope that I am giving her some media literacy tools that the ZTV (that's Zero TV) crowd may lack. I do not underestimate the value of my own sanity, which is maintained in part due to her viewing hours. And maybe one day I'll be watching a Bess-made documentary at Sundance.