Last weekend, I went to Genesis Farm in Blairstown, New Jersey to see a talk given by Jennifer Morgan, author of the Universe Story trilogy for children. She was discussing the mythological implications of the story of our cosmos, and how this can and should inform our parenting. One of the central ideas of her work is that within crisis is the force of creativity, and (much like in our personal lives) it pften takes a huge disruption in the status quo to set the stage for the next big step forward. Morgan discussed the oxygen crisis of 2,500 MYA and how it led to the evolution of oxygen-breathing organisms, and how the extinction of the dinosaurs was necessary for mammals to emerge. Now, she claims, we are in the midst of another such earth-rocking crisis.
Unfortunately, we cannot know ahead of time what the next phase of life on this planet will be. We cannot know if human life will continue, and if it does, what it will look like. Many of the participants in the seminar asked questions that revealed their discomfort with the idea that we cannot know if, or how, the story of human life on Earth will end. They wanted to know what people think our future holds on this planet, and what we can do to ensure our survival. To be sure, it is terrifying to imagine the pain and suffering that could occur if civilization as we know it were to come to an end.
However, there is also something liberating about the idea that we are constantly evolving, and that each planetary upheaval leaves the door open for the emergence of something new and previously unimagimable. I've often wondered about the movement towards sustainable, mindful living, thinking that it might represent a huge evolutionary step for humans, along the lines of walking upright and developing agriculture. It seems that I am not alone in this thinking. Perhaps the technological leaps that have been taken in recent centuries, and that have drained the resources of our Earth, were necessary to give highly-evolved, simply-living and ecologically-conscious humans the tools we will need to take this next step.
As I considered the implications of Morgan's talk, I began to see the "Save the Planet" movement as the ultimate in human hubris. The planet does not need saving - it will continue if and after we are gone, no matter what we do. It will surely not take the same form as it does today because of human activity, and it may already be too late to undo most of the problems and destruction that we have wrought. However, though our species may have a catastrophic impact on this planet, in the framework of geologic time this crisis will be short-lived and, even if it spells the end of human life as we know it, the planet will rebound and fill the void with new life. Many people view humans as the crowning achievement of evolution, but in fact, we are just one species among many who have inhabited the planet during its long and ongoing history. While there is no question that we have done a great deal to reduce biological diversity on this planet, there is not one person among us who knows what this really means. Humans or no humans, the bioshpere will change, and continue to change, forever. That is what Earth does. Polar bears or tigers may not be around forever, but there will always be life.
So, then what does this mean for us as parents and as human beings? Does it mean we should simply throw in the towel, and surrender our fate to the Universe? Should we just live it up today, and who cares what happens tomorrow? I don't think so. However, I think it does mean that we need to give up our attachment to our ideas about how things should turn out. Obviously all of us, especially as parents, want to see human life continue with a minimum of war, poverty and pain. But none of us know what will happen, and we can waste an awful lot of emotional energy worrying about things that may or may not come to pass. This energy would be better spent working towards the future that we would like to see.
Accepting that we just do not have a crystal ball that will show us the future does not mean that we should stop working to ensure that humans will have a long, prosperous and peaceful stay on this planet. In fact, I would say that surrendering to the unkown is very freeing for the socially conscious among us. We no longer have to end our days wondering, "Have I done enough to save our biosphere from human destructiveness?" since that responsibility is off our plates. Who can live with that kind of pressure for very long, anyway? Instead, we can simply look at each day and ask ourselves, "What have I done to make my lifestyle more sustainable today?" That is a much more productive way of thinking, since every day we can easily do something that will help us move towards that goal.
For some of us, a contribution to the sustainability of human life on Earth will be local and personal, such as getting a hybrid automobile, installing solar panels on our homes, eating local foods, and minimizing our consumption. Others of us will take a more active role, enlarging our circles to become educators or activists. Some among us will be drawn to a hands-on approach, helping to educate children or build a well (or wind turbines?) in poor communities around the globe. All these contributions are important as our species necessarily moves towards a more cooperative, rather than a domineering, way of living on this planet. Instead of taking an all-or-nothing approach that can be a big turn-off to people who are not ready to take a big leap, seeing each small step as a contribution that moves the curve towards the sustainable end of the spectrum allows everyone to take a part in the movement to end the suffering that is being caused by humans on this planet.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Friday, November 9, 2007
Big Vision Living
I was recently driving past a church in my neighborhood - you know, the kind that always has one of those snappy sayings on the bulletin board in the front. This week, it simply had the title of the weekend's sermon: "Big Vision Living". I'm not sure what that means in a Biblical context, but I thought that would be a great topic for a Humane Parenting talk. I wonder if it would be plagarism to use it?
When we talk about parents who are aiming to raise a humane child, we are talking about taking both the long view and the wide view of life. We are asking parents to consider things that may not affect the planet in our lifetimes, or in those of our children or even our grandchildren, such as global warming. We are also asking them to consider things that are happening outside the realm of their immediate experience - water shortages in Uzbekistan, child labor in Pakistan, enslaved prostitutes in Thiland, even factory farming on distant stretches of pasture land in Kansas. This is a tall order, to say the least.
It is difficult for parents, who are often wrapped up in the day-to-day goings on of our family lives, to practice Big Vision Living. It can seem impossible to keep tabs on all the issues that may be important to us, never mind researching all the options regarding such things as food and personal care products, clothing purchases, how our homes and transportation are powered, or the entertainment we choose for ourselves and our children. For those of us who are committed to living a humane lifestyle, it can often become frustrating and demoralizing as our friends, families, and perfect strangers feel obligated, or at least entitled, to criticize the alternative choices we make on behalf of our families.
At least in my experience as a childless person making choices outside the mainstream, I was often teased for the "strange" things I did, and though I may have been seen as an oddity, I was rarely met with open hostility (unless I chose to put myself in the line of fire). Once a child became involved, however, people began pulling no punches as they explained to us how our choices, which they once regarded as unusual and perhaps inconvenient, are now selfish, irresponsible and downright damaging to our children.
So, what is a conscientious parent to do? Most important is finding a group of like-minded people, parents if possible, who will understand, respect and support you in your right to make the choices that are right for you. For our family, joining our local chapter of the Holistic Moms Network has made the path much easier as we are surrounded by others who make non-traditional lifestyle choices that are perhaps different from ours, but who understand our desire to live an authentic life.
Secondly, you need not share your opinions and choices with everyone who asks. While it is important to be an ambassador for Big Vision Living, to live your values and be an example to the world of humane living, it is also important that we save our sanity. This sometimes requires us to take a break from constantly seeing ourselves as educators to the world and minding our own business and allowing others to mind theirs.
It is also helpful to try to see where our critics are coming from and to try to approach their position with compassion. People get very emotional when it comes to children. Sometimes when we look behind angry or critical words, what we find is a scared or regretful person who is really upset with themselves more than us.
Lastly, we need to stand our ground. Our decisions are ours alone to make, and we alone must live with the consequences of what we do or do not do. In the end, if me make a particular choice not in an effort to live our values, but only to avoid the criticism or arguments that will result from that choice, we lose some of ourselves in the process. We have to always remember that we are setting an example for our children: of courage, of integrity, of vision. That is more important than what other people think of the lives we live.
Big Vision Living means something different to everyone. People have different priorities and different perspectives. People who agree on what the issues are can also disagree on how exactly to recognize and act on those issues in an effort to live a humane life. All we can do is identify our values, examine the things that are important to us and how our behavior speaks to those things, and do the best we can for ourselves and our families.
When we talk about parents who are aiming to raise a humane child, we are talking about taking both the long view and the wide view of life. We are asking parents to consider things that may not affect the planet in our lifetimes, or in those of our children or even our grandchildren, such as global warming. We are also asking them to consider things that are happening outside the realm of their immediate experience - water shortages in Uzbekistan, child labor in Pakistan, enslaved prostitutes in Thiland, even factory farming on distant stretches of pasture land in Kansas. This is a tall order, to say the least.
It is difficult for parents, who are often wrapped up in the day-to-day goings on of our family lives, to practice Big Vision Living. It can seem impossible to keep tabs on all the issues that may be important to us, never mind researching all the options regarding such things as food and personal care products, clothing purchases, how our homes and transportation are powered, or the entertainment we choose for ourselves and our children. For those of us who are committed to living a humane lifestyle, it can often become frustrating and demoralizing as our friends, families, and perfect strangers feel obligated, or at least entitled, to criticize the alternative choices we make on behalf of our families.
At least in my experience as a childless person making choices outside the mainstream, I was often teased for the "strange" things I did, and though I may have been seen as an oddity, I was rarely met with open hostility (unless I chose to put myself in the line of fire). Once a child became involved, however, people began pulling no punches as they explained to us how our choices, which they once regarded as unusual and perhaps inconvenient, are now selfish, irresponsible and downright damaging to our children.
So, what is a conscientious parent to do? Most important is finding a group of like-minded people, parents if possible, who will understand, respect and support you in your right to make the choices that are right for you. For our family, joining our local chapter of the Holistic Moms Network has made the path much easier as we are surrounded by others who make non-traditional lifestyle choices that are perhaps different from ours, but who understand our desire to live an authentic life.
Secondly, you need not share your opinions and choices with everyone who asks. While it is important to be an ambassador for Big Vision Living, to live your values and be an example to the world of humane living, it is also important that we save our sanity. This sometimes requires us to take a break from constantly seeing ourselves as educators to the world and minding our own business and allowing others to mind theirs.
It is also helpful to try to see where our critics are coming from and to try to approach their position with compassion. People get very emotional when it comes to children. Sometimes when we look behind angry or critical words, what we find is a scared or regretful person who is really upset with themselves more than us.
Lastly, we need to stand our ground. Our decisions are ours alone to make, and we alone must live with the consequences of what we do or do not do. In the end, if me make a particular choice not in an effort to live our values, but only to avoid the criticism or arguments that will result from that choice, we lose some of ourselves in the process. We have to always remember that we are setting an example for our children: of courage, of integrity, of vision. That is more important than what other people think of the lives we live.
Big Vision Living means something different to everyone. People have different priorities and different perspectives. People who agree on what the issues are can also disagree on how exactly to recognize and act on those issues in an effort to live a humane life. All we can do is identify our values, examine the things that are important to us and how our behavior speaks to those things, and do the best we can for ourselves and our families.
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
One Mountain
I belong to quite a few online chat groups, many of which discuss homeschooling. There is one I particularly enjoy, which is run by a woman who writes nature-based curriculum for young children. I find her ideas to be inspiring, and I have incorporated many of them into my own life.
Recently, she posted that she and her daughters had gone out and collected thousands of acorns from their yards, and offered to mail some of them to people who did not have any acorns around their homes. While this is a seemingly innocent, even generous, offer, the more I thought about it the more it started to bother me.
First of all, if acorns are not something that is native to your area, why would you ever want someone to mail you some? What were people going to do with them? What would be wrong with going outside with children and looking at the things that are native to their area, whether that be cactus and Joshua trees or lichen and towering pines?
Richard Louv, in his book Last Child in the Woods, quotes an old Native American saying that goes something like this: "It is better to know one mountain well than to visit many mountains." (I've loaned out my copy so I can't look up the exact wording, but you get the idea.) If we are trying to build reverence for nature among our chilren, in the hopes that this will make them physically, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually healthier - in addition to making them more compassionate and responsible residents of our planet - it is probably more effective, and certainly more efficient, to help them fall in love with their immediate surroundings.
In trying to teach them about some Hallmark card-esque version of "Autumn", for example, instead of going outside and exploring what autumn really looks like in our own neighborhoods, whether we live in the deserts of Arizona, the tundra of Alaska, or foliage-dense New Hampshire, we turn what could be a reverence-building activity into an intellectual exercise. Instead of teaching our children to tune into the beauty that surrounds them wherever they are, we teach them about an abstraction that is some other place, a place they cannot touch or experience, at least in the moment.
But more than that, I think that this activity shows a very subtle lack of respect for nature. It implies that the acorns belong to us and are ours for the taking, instead of recognizing the reality that they have a purpose, right where they are. Recently we were in Florida on vacation, and the acorns there look very different from the acorns we see in New Jersey. Jersey acorns are short, fat and brown, while Florida acorns are long, thin and green. My daughter was intrigued by the difference, and wanted to collect dozens of them to bring home to compare to our native species. While I did allow her to take a handful of them home (which amounted to about five), I then explained to her that they rest of them needed to stay where they were. The squirrels needed them for food, and the ones they did not eat they would bury and either dig up to eat later, or they would grow into new trees.
It is vital that we be very aware of the underlying messages that are inherent in what we do, if we are trying to raise our children to be humane. Many of the problems that we face in our world are borne of the attitude that humans, whites, men, Protestants, heteresexuals, able-bodied people, or ________________ (fill in the dominant group of your choice) are entitled to take what they wish from other people, other species, or the environment, and everyone else would have to get by on whatever is left. Therefore, it is so important that those of us who are trying to raise compassionate children give serious thought to everything we do, examining our actions to be sure they do not perpetuate this mind-set. If we wish for our children to be critical thinkers, then we need to model this for them by critically evaluating our own choices and decoding the messages that we send.
Recently, she posted that she and her daughters had gone out and collected thousands of acorns from their yards, and offered to mail some of them to people who did not have any acorns around their homes. While this is a seemingly innocent, even generous, offer, the more I thought about it the more it started to bother me.
First of all, if acorns are not something that is native to your area, why would you ever want someone to mail you some? What were people going to do with them? What would be wrong with going outside with children and looking at the things that are native to their area, whether that be cactus and Joshua trees or lichen and towering pines?
Richard Louv, in his book Last Child in the Woods, quotes an old Native American saying that goes something like this: "It is better to know one mountain well than to visit many mountains." (I've loaned out my copy so I can't look up the exact wording, but you get the idea.) If we are trying to build reverence for nature among our chilren, in the hopes that this will make them physically, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually healthier - in addition to making them more compassionate and responsible residents of our planet - it is probably more effective, and certainly more efficient, to help them fall in love with their immediate surroundings.
In trying to teach them about some Hallmark card-esque version of "Autumn", for example, instead of going outside and exploring what autumn really looks like in our own neighborhoods, whether we live in the deserts of Arizona, the tundra of Alaska, or foliage-dense New Hampshire, we turn what could be a reverence-building activity into an intellectual exercise. Instead of teaching our children to tune into the beauty that surrounds them wherever they are, we teach them about an abstraction that is some other place, a place they cannot touch or experience, at least in the moment.
But more than that, I think that this activity shows a very subtle lack of respect for nature. It implies that the acorns belong to us and are ours for the taking, instead of recognizing the reality that they have a purpose, right where they are. Recently we were in Florida on vacation, and the acorns there look very different from the acorns we see in New Jersey. Jersey acorns are short, fat and brown, while Florida acorns are long, thin and green. My daughter was intrigued by the difference, and wanted to collect dozens of them to bring home to compare to our native species. While I did allow her to take a handful of them home (which amounted to about five), I then explained to her that they rest of them needed to stay where they were. The squirrels needed them for food, and the ones they did not eat they would bury and either dig up to eat later, or they would grow into new trees.
It is vital that we be very aware of the underlying messages that are inherent in what we do, if we are trying to raise our children to be humane. Many of the problems that we face in our world are borne of the attitude that humans, whites, men, Protestants, heteresexuals, able-bodied people, or ________________ (fill in the dominant group of your choice) are entitled to take what they wish from other people, other species, or the environment, and everyone else would have to get by on whatever is left. Therefore, it is so important that those of us who are trying to raise compassionate children give serious thought to everything we do, examining our actions to be sure they do not perpetuate this mind-set. If we wish for our children to be critical thinkers, then we need to model this for them by critically evaluating our own choices and decoding the messages that we send.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
